Panic and Comfort
by smallpieceofsky
Summary: Dan has a panic attack. Phil comforts him. *could be triggering for panic attacks.


_A/N I've never written phanfiction before, so this may not be awesome. This also turned out to be way sappier than I intended. Very cheesy ending._

Dan's heart began to beat incessantly, in the kind of way it did when he performed any kind of physical activity. However, he was currently simply sitting on the couch, in the lounge, absentmindedly browsing through tumblr. That's what he was initially doing, anyway; he was just thoughtlessly looking at pictures and gifs that appeared on his dash,when unexpectedly, he began thinking about the things he usually tried to avoid. He had no particular reason to be thinking these thoughts; they just happened very suddenly, and he couldn't control them. It was like one of his existential crisis, only very significantly amplified. He was becoming bombarded by these unwanted thoughts, and the effect was crippling. He started to become affected physically. There was the very rapid, pounding, heartbeat, which was accompanied by other symptoms, as well. His breaths were coming out in short gasps, and he couldn't seem to control them. He felt himself become substantially hotter and he started to break out in a sweat. He set his laptop down on the table, and tried to focus on his breathing. He noticed that at some point his hands had started trembling. He quit trying to control his breathing because he was just becoming too overwhelmed. The same thoughts kept repeating themselves, and he was trying to stop them, but it was futile. He had lost control of his thoughts, as well as most of the rest of his body. He was completely terrified. He hadn't ever before felt like this, and he didn't know what was happening, or what he should do. He felt entirely helpless, and tears sprung to his eyes, and began to stream down his face. He decided he couldn't be alone any longer, and he ventured to Phil's bedroom door. It took some effort, considering he was very lightheaded and weak feeling. He lightly knocked on it.

"Phil? Can I come in?" he asked. It surprised him how shaky his voice sounded. Phil was going to immediately know something was wrong.

"Yeah, Dan, of course," Phil replied. Dan sensed some concern in his voice.

Dan opened the door and walked in. Phil was sitting on his bed with his laptop placed on his lap.

"Dan? Dan, what's wrong? You're crying..."

Dan wanted to respond to Phil's question. He wanted to walk over to Phil and be comforted by him, but he found himself paralyzed and dizzy, unable to move or speak. He felt on the verge of collapsing.

Phil hurriedly sat his laptop aside and removed himself from his bed, rushing over to Dan. He sensed that Dan was somewhat unsteady and he placed his hand firmly on his shoulder, so as to support him, and he wanted to be close to him so that if he fell, Phil could catch him.

"Dan. Are you all right? No. You're obviously not. Why are you breathing like that? Come on, let's get you to the bed." Phil led Dan to his bed, and Phil sat up, while Dan curled up, laying his head down on Phil's lap. Phil ran his hand through Dan's hair, hoping it made him feel better. He realized then how badly Dan must be feeling. They didn't usually make this kind of contact with each other. Dan must have been feeling desperate for comfort.

"Dan, can you please talk to me? I want to know what's bothering you." Phil tried to keep his voice very soft and gentle, so it would sound soothing.

"Can't talk. Feeling... weird. Can't breathe well. Can't quit thinking. Feels like I'm dying," Dan said weakly, but he was, at least, finally to offer some explanation for Phil.

"Oh, okay. Um... Dan, I think you may be having a panic attack. I know it probably feels really scary, but, physically, you really are okay. I mean, you're not dying. Even though it feels like it. Hey, do you prefer me to talk, or would you rather me be quiet?"

"Um... I... Keep talking. I think it's better when you talk. I don't really want to talk anymore, though," Dan muttered weakly.

"Okay, that's fine. So... uh..." Phil struggled trying to find a topic he could talk about to Dan that would possibly relieve Dan of his worrying thoughts.

"Hey, the radio show last week. Um, it was really fun, wasn't it? I mean, funner than usual. I thought you did a really good job -"

"Phil. Don't talk about the radio show," Dan said quietly, interrupting Phil.

"Oh. Okay. But, uh, I don't really know what to talk about. I'm not very good at this comforting thing, I guess." Phil felt as though he was failing Dan. Dan was a complete mess, still trembling and his breaths were still uneven, and Phil felt helpless.

"Phil. Tell me how you feel about me," Dan managed to utter.

Phil didn't quite know how to answer this question. He didn't know how truthful he wanted Phil to be, or what exactly he meant.

"What do you mean? You're my best friend. You have been for years. I care a lot about you."Phil could feel Dan's heartbeat race even more at this.

"Oh. So that's all, then?" Dan murmered. Phil detected sadness in his tone. Phil decided that this was the time to be completely truthful. He sighed and began his confession.

"No. No, Dan. Of course that's not all. You're Dan. You're beautiful and incredibly funny, and there isn't really a thing I don't like – love – about you. Of course I think of you more than just a best friend. How could I not?" Phil said, relieved. He was finally saying what he always held in. Now, he just hoped this information didn't worsen Dan's condition. He payed careful attention to how Dan's body reacted to this information. He was still exhibiting signs of panic, so Phil continued running his hand through Dan's hair, which Phil couldn't help but notice was very soft. Then Dan started to do something Phil didn't expect. Dan began crying. It wasn't the way he was crying before, with tears just silently streaming down his face. This time he was sobbing into Phil's lap.

"Dan. Dan. Oh God. I'm sorry. I didn't want to upset you. That's the last thing I'd ever want to do. Look, I understand if you don't feel the way I feel about you, all right? It's okay. I can deal. We can just continue being friends. Please don't quit being my friend. I really don't think that's something I could handle," Phil now felt his eyes filling with tears. Dan sniffed, and then sat up, facing Phil. Suddenly it was his turn to do the comforting. He placed both hand on either side of Phil's face and stared into Phil's deep blue eyes.

"I would _never _stop being your friend, Phil. You are the most important person I have in my life. I need you to always be in my life. But I would definitely like to be a bit more than just a friend. I am pretty much in love with you. Before, when I started having the panic attack thing, I was thinking about you, Phil. About how much I cared about you. But then I began to get this hopeless feeling because I didn't think you could ever feel that way about me. And that eventually you wouldn't even want to be my friend anymore. You'd get a girlfriend. Move out. And we would say we'd still be friends, but it wouldn't be the same, and I knew I could never be happy – I could never be the person I want to be – without you, Phil." Dan felt relief wash over him at finally revealing these feelings. He never broke eye contact with Phil, and he noticed the tears that were running down his face. He took his finger and gently brushed them away.

"That's why you were panicking? Because of me?" Phil asked, confounded that he was the reason for Dan's intense feelings.

"Well, yeah Phil. I don't have anything else important enough to elicit that kind of reaction..." Dan explained, as if it were obvious.

"Oh," Phil said, simply.

"Oh. Oh, Phil? I just confessed that you're the most important aspect of my life and all you can say –

Dan didn't get to finish his rant because Phil placed his lips on Dan's, and all doubts and fear were erased.


End file.
